Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Ahhhh the joys of schedule confusion... the girl I share nights with came in as she wasn't sure if she was working tonight... well now she is! *L* She is gonna take my first 2 nights so I can rest and be with the boys that are sick... I took Dev to school today since I had school and a lunch date and he was up JUST FINE in the middle of the night... By the time I got home Eric was ready to go to his doc as he's been sick for over a week... We finish at doc and I drop Eric off just in time to get to class a bit late.... Luckily I didn't miss much... Then I went to lunch with Alicia and Cindy and the kids... it was a bit harder then I thought it would be seeing the babies... I felt really bad cause I stayed very detached from the girls because it just hurt to see them and know I wouldn't have one myself in a few short months... Then to top it off the waitress was pg.... *sigh* there are reminders everywhere, and how could I have forgotten that Alicia's sweet baby is named Emily.... Then I return home to an extremely irate E... Seems Dev had a meltdown at school and threw a chair... school AND E not happy campers about that and then add to E's gripe that he didn't know where I was and couldn't reach me... pardon me but aren't I entitled to a few hours of free time every now and a blue moon??? Deven says he was angry at his teachers because he couldn't make little Vs.... *sigh* He was tired, sick and easily frustrated, my fault for sending him to school... I have a call in to see a child psychiatrist for Deven.... I just don't know what to do anymore... he can't handle his feelings and expresses them in a completely unappropriate way... E and I argued about that for a bit and I won't even get into E chatting w/one of my online friends and then giving me the 3rd degree!! I never had time to turn things off this morning before I left the house for what became the entire day.... A bit later then I went to get Dilen and stopped at grocery store.... come home to yet another argument with him playing games about work and my schedule... seems he woke up in a stupor at 6:15 and thought I was at work so called there... Well I wasn't there... the way the information was originally relayed to me he gave the impression that someone called here and said I wasn't working tonight.... then it was another 45 min before I got the ENTIRE story.... I HATE when he screws with my head like that.... This week is just been WAY too taxing on me.... I need a good cry.... Seems everytime I start my body/mind shuts me down and just won't let go because somewhere in the road I was led to believe I have to remain strong... but I just can't anymore.... the damn is starting to crack... OH and have I mentioned that my chest feels tight, my throat has a tickle, I am getting a cough and I have a headache I just can't seem to shake??? Sue told me she took the day to just watch the birds... that sounds sooo serene, I might have to try for a bit tomorrow.... Well time to get my tired, sore self to bed and get a few hours of sleep.... Til next time....
